Sorry for the LONG post. Here’s number 6-30
First, the last one from this year’s #NaNoWriMo story:
Sarah Johnson
Sarah is Mark’s wife and co-caretaker of The Reverend’s farm. She grew up with the two of them and probably knows more about what happened with The Reverend than Mark does, simply because she was more persistent in dragging it out of him. Sarah worries about the both of them, considering them both to be family.
Sarah is wonderful wife and mother. The farm is a somewhat agrarian setup, meant to be self sufficient. As such, there are jobs to be done that don’t take her too far from the house. The children are still relatively young and during the school months are gone during the day, but she directs them in household chores and tending to the animals. She also manages processing milk from the cows and, as odd as it sounds to most outsiders, churning butter. She also organizes and keeps the house clean and makes sure meals are prepared for everyone. The Reverend has warned Mark that should he ever take Sarah for granted he will give him a beat down of Biblical proportions.
Sara is 5’6”, roughly 135 pounds. She has curly light brown hair with blonde highlights that is starting to show a little grey. She prefers more traditional attire and is usually found in a long, solid color dress with an apron.
The next twenty one are from an as yet drawn out webcomic.
Chuck
Chuck is the type of man who has a lot of internal turmoil. In his early years, life had pulled the football out from underneath him a few too many times. The result being a knot of anger, depression, internalized rage, and asocial tendencies. This left him only one clear career path: Tech Support.
Chuck is trained in several forms of martial arts, having sought out training with a true master with whom he spent a good five years after college. He knows a hundred ways to kill a person, but his weapon of choice is always his sarcastic wit. His role as Team Lead at Total Bastard Technical Support fortunately keeps him from interacting with customers more than absolutely necessary. His unique skills however, has prompted his employers to give him an “off the books” role in charge of “light” corporate espionage. To date, this role has not required any killings, but Chuck is holding out hope.
Chuck is 5’9” tall, 185 pounds. He has medium length dark hair, green eyes, and grows a long goatee and a mustache that hangs in a short “fu manchu” like style, that he keeps threatening to wax and curl up in a handlebar whenever someone hassles him on it. He is most often found in light combat boots under his utility kilt and printed t-shirt. Technically, there is no part of this that is allowed by the dress code at his office, but no one has questioned him on it since the disappearance of the one HR rep who tried.
Imagine if Charlie Brown, after a childhood of Lucy pulling the football away and making him fall on his ass and never having a proper baseball game or Christmas tree and being less popular than his dog grew up and took all that frustration and funnelled into the the only job that would have it: technical support. And does it all wearing a kilt. That’s Chuck.
Seamus Ravensfeather
Seamus is a good friend and coworker of Chuck. They met when Chuck first came to work at Total Bastard Technical Support and became fast friends, looking out for one another when needed.
Seamus is of Native American and Irish heritage, which gives him straight, black hair that falls below his shoulders (but is generally tied back) coupled with a fair skin tone. This, coupled with his penchant for dark clothing, often gets him mistaken for one of those “nouveau Goth” folks he despises (after all, “the Goths were violent barbarians that were the scourge of Europe, not whiny emo bitches with black lipstick.”). Standing at six feet tall and weighing around 130 pounds soaking wet (author’s note: we’re pretty certain a good ten pounds of that comes from the trench coat and assorted gadgets on his person), doesn’t help the misconception much.
Seamus is an art geek, which tends to get on Chuck’s nerves on occasion. He has been known to have internal debates about what font was used on a restaurant menu or advertising sign, as well as to correct people who misidentify shades of colors. He is, however, incredibly talented with genius level intelligence.
Brew Meister
Remember that guy in college who could drink everyone under the table at the party and still ace the physics test at 0800 the next day? That’s Brew. College was where he got his nickname after he started brewing his own beer in his dorm room. Rumor has it that he started constructing his own mini-still (ala Hawkeye Pierce from MASH), but was cut short by an RA who caught wind of the endeavor and made it clear that such activity would get him kicked out of the dorm and probably expelled.
Brew is generally jovial fellow, slow to anger, quick with a joke or clever quip. He’s friendly to just about everyone he meets, sometimes to his own detriment as it’s often taken as flirting by the women at the bar, which doesn’t sit well with his girlfriend. The rare times when he’s a bit surly come when he finds his mug empty.
Brew has a self described “Buddha Body”, most likely a result of years of consumption of beer and wings. Don’t let his shape and demeanor fool you, though. He is a student of martial arts and, although he’s had little formal training, can hold his own in a fight. His best fighting style? Drunken Master, of course. He is as tall as Chuck, give or take an inch, and spends part of his summer serving beer and laughs to patrons at the local renaissance festival.
The Software Support Siren
Siren is, in fact, a siren. Contrary to popular belief, not all sirens are mermaids (though it would appear that all mermaids are sirens). She represents the complaint department at Total Bastard. A blonde siren, the most common type, her voice both sooths and sways a healthy majority of the human male population, as well as a small percentage of the female population. As such, she almost universally well liked by the men at Total Bastard whilst distrusted by nearly the same percentage of the women.
Siren is the only non-management employee to have her own office at Total Bastard. This is, of course, so that everyone else isn’t distracted by her voice. When she leave the office and is talking to someone in a hallway or break room, it often results in a small following of men tripping over themselves to help her or just be close to her. She spends most of her day in solitude, taking calls escalated from other coworkers who often take bets on how long she’ll have to talk to a customer to get them to forget why they were upset.
Siren and Chuck are good friends, partly because Chuck is one of the rare people immune to her call (he is also mostly immune to the call of the less common brunette siren, but is completely unable to resist the call of the, thankfully, incredibly rare redheaded siren). They serve as outlets for one another’s workplace frustrations, often venting to one another via instant message or over lunch.
Aurora and Penumbra (Rory and Penny)
Aurora and Penumbra, or Rory and Penny as they are often called, are Chuck’s conscious, the proverbial “angel” and “devil” on his shoulders, though you’d be hard pressed to tell which is which as their morality seems to encompass shades of grey rather than straight black and white. It is not uncommon for Rory to encourage Chuck to do something “bad” whilst Penny tries to dissuade him, or vice versa. Often times they will switch sides in the same issue or, if Chuck takes too long to act, decide to simply gang up on him and both take the same side of the issue.
The women are sisters and may actually be fraternal twins. They are almost identical except in the features that would normally denote their purpose as Chuck’s conscious; Rory has wings that are reminiscent of a bat (or, as Chuck points out, a succubus) and is often dressed in modest clothes, whilst Penny has white, feathered wings, representative of a dove or angel and is most often dressed in more revealing attire. Both sisters wear roses intertwined in a chain. Chuck believes the women to be figments of his imagination and bases this on the fact that their physical appearance, perhaps without the wings, is a very close approximation to his ideal woman (red hair, bright face, piercing green eyes, comforting smile, hourglass figure, etc).
Tarah (pronounced TAR-ah)
Tarah is the “resident redhead”. She is Chuck’s long-time friend and on-again off-again roommate. Something of a modern hippie and “wanderer”, she travels often and lives with Chuck for brief periods of time between travels. She lives mostly off of odd jobs and the kindness of others. This was part of the reason she and Chuck didn’t work as a couple, as she was far too much of a free spirit and he needed someone more grounded.
Tarah is a semi-professional photographer. She travels the country in a bus that has been converted to an RV, taking photos of interesting places and selling the prints online and at hippy gatherings and arts/crafts fairs.
Tarah is 5’3 and “height-weight proportionate”. She has wavy, naturally red hair that falls below her shoulders. Although she will occasionally “dress up”, she is most commonly found in jeans, a loose-fitting top, and comfortable shoes.
Sera
Sera is Chuck’s sister and sometime nemesis (nemesister?). She started out life as a blonde and sometime after puberty her hair naturally darkened. Chuck contends that she was seduced to the dark side and became an apprentice of a Sith or Dark Lord, or possibly a Disney villain sometime in her teens. Although she claims that her antagonism of Chuck is purely accidental, Chuck is dubious of this.
Sera is strong willed and is often unwilling to admit mistakes. She has been known to plow forward toward a goal, regardless of harm to herself or others. It generally works out in the end, however. A constant fight between her and Chuck is her romantic fixation on his friends, dating back to grade school. Unfortunately, this fixation also extends to friends, and boyfriends, of her friends. Despite their problems with one another, Sera and Chuck are fiercely loyal to one another.
Sera stands 5’6” and weighs around 120 pounds. She prefers a short bob cut to her brown hair, though hates that it tends to curl at that length and will no longer stay straight as it did when she was a child.
Brutus
Brutus is a high school friend of Chuck. Well “friend” is a loose term. He was the captain of the football team at Chuck’s high school and part of the reason Chuck rode the bench for two years. Although relatively civil to one another, Brutus has a personality that Chuck finds abrasive, despite Brutus’s good intentions.
Brutus never really left high school. In his mind, he’s still at the top of the food chain and never tires of sharing stories from his glory days, despite having graduated from business school with an IT Management degree. He is incredibly competitive and comes across as overbearing in most cases. He lacks social graces which would normally help him fit in better with geeks like Chuck, Seamus, and Brew, but as a Jock, he tends to be at the loud, obnoxious end of the lack of social graces scale, rather than the quiet, reserved end where you find most geeks.
Brutus has a fairly typical football lineman build. He is about 6’1”, 230 pounds with medium brown, poorly kept hair and three days growth of facial hair. Even in an ill-fitting suit and tie, Chuck only sees him in his football jersey.
Marcy
Marcy is an old friend of Chuck, their relationship dating back to grade school. The two had not spoken in nearly twelve years from the middle of their senior year in high school until they were force to meet again when Marcy became a contractor for a project at Total Bastard. The tension for the first few weeks of that contract boiled over into a near fist fight as the two finally stopped tip-toeing around the unresolved issues from their past.
Marcy is a relatively non-descript person. She stands 5’2” with short cropped dark hair and dark rimmed glasses over her most noticeable physical asset. She has a small frame with tone muscles and very little body fat. She is most often described as “tomboyish”, a term she loathes only slightly less than “butch”. She has a small heart tattoo on her wrist with the word “sir” written in it.
“Wheels”
“Wheels” met Chuck on the cycling trails in town years ago. His bike had broken down and he was having a supremely bad day when she rode up and helped him with repairs. Chuck bought her lunch at a nearby coffee shop as a thank you and an apology for his attitude and they became quick friends. When a bad encounter with a car left her with minimal use of her legs a few years later, Chuck was by her side in the hospital and supported her as much as he could. She would eventually move to a wheelchair almost full time and trade in her two-wheeled bike for a hand-bike. Her and Chuck will still occasionally ride the trails together, though something has changed between them that is unclear to Chuck.
“Wheels” is a nickname Chuck gave her after she moved to a wheelchair. She had often referred to Chuck as “Legs” due to his kilt, and this was his revenge. She appears good natured about it, but it is unclear if she finds offense in it.
When standing, “Wheels” is about 5’7” tall. Her weight fluctuates, but she maintains a healthy and attractive figure. She has straight hair that flows down to the middle of her back and changes color depending on her mood and the whim of her stylist.
The Cowboy
The Cowboy is a supervisor at Total Bastard. He’s a laid back kind of guy and although he was born, raised, and has always lived within a metro or suburban area, fancies himself a country boy. As such, he will commonly be found wearing slightly distressed jeans, a western style shirt, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat. Although not the most effective supervisor in existence, he is easily favored over some of the other management in the company, primarily because of his pleasant demeanor and respect for employees. His management style is about adequate for the task, so there are rarely complaints. His big weakness is that he likes to have a lot of fun during off hours and will tend to overindulge when entertaining clients.
One of the most notable things about The Cowboy is that he is exceptionally tall. So much so that unless he is seated, even Seamus, has to look nearly straight up to look at his face. Often times his face is completely lost in the fluorescent lights of the office.
“Bob”
“Bob” is a different kind of recurring character. Turnover at Total Bastard is about the highest you can get in any industry, much less IT. As a result, the staff refuses to learn anyone’s names until they’ve made it at least six months. All new hires are referred to as “Bob” until that time. Although the argument has been made that this increases turnover due to people being offended that staff will not remember their name, this argument was debunked when Seamus took it upon himself to not only learn the real name of every “Bob” for six months, but also to actively socialize with them and turnover didn’t change at all.
Frank
Frank is the sole full time African American person on the team. He is often referred to as “Token” by the South Park fans on the team because of this. He’s also often given a hard time because, despite being 6’3” and physically fit, he’s never played sports, other than the random pickup game of football or basketball with his friends. By his own admission, he’s generally not good at those things. He also claims to be “the only black man on the planet with no rhythm.”
Frank was a USMC Reserve Officer who is thankful that his unit was never called up to deploy to Iraq or Afghanistan. He spends his two weekends a month and two weeks a year helping train reservists on deploying communications equipment or, as he puts it, “running cable through tubes.”
Frank is happily married and a father of two girls.
“The Boss”
Ironically, The Boss is far more stereotypical than he’d like. He’s one part Louie De Palma, one part Pointy Haired Boss, and two parts Dave Nelson. He’s not as well liked or respected as The Cowboy, but he doesn’t necessarily care, either. He’s there to do a job and that may not necessarily be the job everyone thinks it should be. He is best known for sitting in his office fiddling whilst the department burned (well, okay, he was ripping CDs whilst a bunch of stuff “blew up”).
“The Boss” is about 5’7”, 190, with something of a pear shaped face, broad nose and a hairstyle that he’s held onto since the late 80’s.
Elvis
Named for an obscure character on an even more obscure TV show, Elvis is Chuck’s ferret. He is a sable colored ferret and measures roughly 15 inches in length and weighs less than two pounds. Like most ferrets, he sleeps a lot, but when awake is a bundle of energy who hates being in his cage and will often make quite a racket banging on his food dish, or shaking the cage for someone to let him out. He seems to be content travelling in the pocket (or sporran, if appropriate) of Chuck’s kilt. He is a natural explorer and, unlike most of his breed, not much of a kleptomaniac, preferring to observe, taste, or chew, rather than steal and hide.
Russ
Everyone’s pretty certain that “Russ” is somehow short for “Walrus”. Russ has a face much like Wilfred Brimley and a moustache that rivals that of Jamie Hyneman. At fifty, he is the oldest member of the Total Bastard team. He’s also reached the “I don’t really give a fuck” stage of his life and this displays in the way he interacts with coworkers. He is a competent technician, but may not be 100 percent up on “new fangled technology”. He occasionally needs to hand off cases because the terminology escapes him, causing a communication problem with the callers.
Russ is about 5’5” tall, 180 pounds. He is most often found wearing pants that fit almost perfectly and are held up by suspenders over t-shirt or button down flannel shirt.
Katlin
The sole redheaded woman to have worked at Total Bastard, she was hard for Chuck not to notice. The two of them worked together for a short time before Katlin took a job offer with another company. They have remained in loose contact, getting together occasionally for a beer and to catch up on each other’s lives. Katlin is another free spirit, being described as a cross between Tarah and Marcy; resembling Tarah in spirit and Marcy in her tomboyish nature (and hatred of that term).
Katlin is about 5’3” and carries a little extra weight around her midsection. Her frame is a bit larger than one would expect for her size and this, coupled with larger breasts and a preference for baggy clothes makes her appear far more “boxy” than she is. She is a fan of Asian culture and Star Wars geek.
Doc
Doc is a survivalist that Chuck meets on a trip to Arizona. He lives in the desert with his wife in a remote, off-grid location. After an accident on the trip, Chuck wakes up in the couple’s home, mildly confused as to what had brought him there.
Doc stands about 5’10”, but tends to slouch down to about 5’8”. He is thin, but fit, with a small frame that makes him seem deceptively frail. He keeps his head shaved and tends to wear clothes practical for working around a homestead, repairing equipment and tending to crops and animals.
Dixie
Dixie is Doc’s wife. The two are somewhat ironically named, as Dixie is a Northern girl, born and raised, and she is more adept in emergency medical care than Doc. When Chuck wakes up in their house, Dixie is the first person he sees and is greeted with a warm smile and pleasant tone in her voice.
Dixie stands at 5’7” tall. She has broad shoulders and a solid build as well as a no-nonsense attitude. She is a good complement to Doc. She also wears practical clothes and likely does not own a skirt or a dress. She has long, dirty blond hair that she generally keeps braided.
Lin
Lin is an Asian American woman in her early twenties who starts work at Total Bastard. She is a proficient technician and initially hits it off with all the other employees, including Chuck. After awhile, though, there are a few oddities that occur that make Chuck suspicious.
Lin stands 5’6” and has long, straight, black hair that appears almost blue in the light. She keeps it tied back in a high pony tail, sometimes opting for a tight bun. She has dark eyes, fair complexion, and angular features. She has a trim build and is one of the few women in the office who prefers to wear skirts and dresses and generally opts for more tradition Asian designs.
Virginia
“Ginny”, as she is known, is Seamus’ sister and Chuck’s source of knowledge for all things ferret related. In the time that the two have known each other, Ginny has had at one time or another two dozen of the fuzzies in her life. She has helped take care of Elvis when Chuck is away and has given advice on finding the perfect vet to keep Elvis healthy.
When it comes to physical appearance, the long, dark, straight hair and light skin tone are about the only two attributes Ginny shares with her brother. She stands barely 5’2” and is full figured. She also prefers brighter colored clothes and generally conveys a much happier demeanor than her brother.
To complete the list, three characters from last year’s never written NaNoWriMo entry, a zombie novel:
Faith Healer
An enigmatic young traveling preacher who encounters the Zombie Slayer before the Uprising. He is relatively mysterious, as his first appearance is at the Sunday morning service at the future Zombie Slayer’s church. Found by the regular pastor at a revival nearby, he’s asked to come to the church and give a guest sermon. Through the course of the short sermon, he assists the congregation in allowing the Spirit to bring them to song and dance in the church. As everyone else is dancing and singing, he focuses in on the future Zombie Slayer and is drawn to her in her wheelchair. He asks the Spirit to heal her and as everyone is focused on her being able to stand, walk, and dance, he slips quietly out the door.
Zombie Slayer
Paralyzed from the waist down in an accident that killed her mother, she was bound to a wheelchair from age ten until meeting the guest pastor six years later. She would live with her father for another six years, through most of her college years. The uprising would cut short her senior year. It’s unclear what happened to her father, but as she is traveling without him, it can be assumed that he was lost in one of the initial conflicts with the undead. Deeply spiritual, she looks at the uprising as part of the end times and prays for understanding on what is happening and why some people have survived and others have not. She finds this to be the most spiritually confusing part of life after the uprising.
Sidecar sidekick
The Zombie Slayer is in the companionship of a younger woman, possibly in her late teens. She is unprepared for life evading zombies and the slayer has valid concerns that she may actually get them killed if she can’t learn to be more careful. The slayer is very protective of her sidekick, however, leading to the belief that she is either very special to her or that there is a reason that she is protecting her and traveling with her. Although nervous around firearms, she has become somewhat proficient with them. As she is new to firearms, she tends toward smaller, easier to handle weapons.
