Archive for the Faith Category

A New Dawn

Posted in Character Development, Emotions, Faith on 01 August 2012 by Micheal

It was an early morning today.  I woke up on time for a change and had no need to rush to get things done.  This afforded me the opportunity to sit on the patio and watch the sun rise.  I sat there, taking in the sights and sounds of the early morning, listening to crickets chirp and the occasional bird song.  A train passed through down the way and I heard the occasional car pass by, taking someone to work, no doubt.

I sat there and just enjoyed it.  I thanked God for the day and that a new month had come.  I thought about how different watching the sun rise is to watching it set.  How the sky starts getting brighter in a crescendo long before you an see the sun above the trees, almost as if we need to be eased into the light, but there was never a moment where the light just flashed on before me.  By contrast, when last I watched the sun set, there was a clear moment when all went dark, like someone had flipped a switch.

In those moments, as I sat silently, drinking my orange juice (this story would seem better with coffee, but I don’t keep that stuff in the house…), I felt somewhat impatient, like I wanted the sun to rise faster or that I had things to do.  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and let that thought go.  I asked for the strength to do what I need to do and the will to take the first steps.  I need to spend more time staying still.

I want this to be a month of change, a month where I get moving on all those things I need to do.  A month of preparation for the unknown.

Regardless of anything, it should be an interesting month.

In the quiet moments

Posted in Creativity, Faith, Prose and Poetry on 02 April 2012 by Micheal

I’ve been trying to jump start my creativity lately and the most difficult part has been actually putting things in a form where other people can see them, since I haven’t mastered telepathy yet.  This came to me on my way to work on 9 March 2012 and I made certain to type it out as soon as I got to a computer.  I put it away, intending to review it later before posting.  The next day I received a phone call from my sister informing me that my biological father had passed away.  Needless to say, sometimes creativity and a blog have to suffer in order to comfort people who are suffering. 

In the quiet moments
The times when moving from place to place
Alone with my own thoughts
You are there with me

You are there with me
Watching over me
Guiding me
Giving me hope

You are there, but so is it
It stalks me from the dark corners
Lurking in the shadows
Its gaze locked on me

In the quiet moments
When my guard is down
And my mind wanders
It takes its opportunity

It attacks with fury unrelenting
Deep cuts sting
My heart bleeds
My head throbs

I fight back
Try to shake it off
A lucky blow stuns the beast
I try to get away

You are there with me
But I feel forsaken
What have I done that you sit and watch
Rather than rescue me?

My respite is short lived
It attacks again
This time it is too much
I lay there sobbing

It begins to boast and prance about
It mocks me in my pain
No, not me, but you
I am but a tool for its mockery

You will not be mocked
Yet you do not intervene
It stops prancing and I can feel its grin bearing down on me
It grips me, suffocating me

It brings me close to death
My mind races with disjointed thoughts
Love lost
Things remembered

“You do not have because you have not asked”
It echoes through my mind
“You do not have because you have not asked”
Darkness begins to overtake me

Darkness begins to overtake me
I stare into the abyss
And feel it stare into me
Broken and battered, I cry out

I cry out “Lord, please save me!”
I close my eyes
When I open them again
It is gone and I am alone

I am alone, but you are there
Broken and battered, I live
By your grace, I live
I live because you live through me

Tomorrow it will return
It will come to torment me and mock you
Tomorrow I will be ready
I will wake each morning and put on your full armor

I am a child of the Most High
I will weather the storm, bend but never break
I am a warrior
I will fight for the heart of my king.